938. - Chris & Jason

Episode summary: One-on-one pod today: we originally had a guest booked who canceled, so ignore us introducing them in the intro. We chat about hotel room bathtubs, Chris returning to the Minneapolis airport chiropractor, 2 Chainz and his ten-year-old son podcasting about strip clubs, the Latinas vs. Snowbunnies pool party in Orange County, Erika Kirk dressing like sober Eminem, the Mount Rushmore of faerie musicians, non-binary instruments, clips and clipping, whether ads need trailers, whether tours need save-the-dates a year in advance, Zach Galifianakis’s gardening show, and the Lena Dunham book tour. com/donetodeath com/themjeans com Learn more about your ad choices.

Visit fm/adchoices All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place.

All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? It's a gray Thursday here in Manhattan. Them jeans. How's it going on your side, bro? Super sunny, super sunny. But I do leave tomorrow to visit three gray cities, so I got a week and a half or so of sun-free living. Do you have to fish a light jacket out of the garage? How dire is it? No, it's not dire at all. No dire. It's more of just a bummer how, you know, it's 76 and sunny here.

And then, you know, going to go to Paris and London and New York for a little bit of rain, cold, and then rain again. Yeah, it's not going to be great. I mean, it's going to be fine. It's fine, though. It's not that cold. I'm going to be spending my whole time in a hotel, so it doesn't matter. That's exactly what I want to do. So I totally understand where you're coming from. You never get sick of being in the hotel, do you? I mean, I like to go to restaurants and maybe check out a museum, a gallery, or a store and catch up with some friends over a coffee or whatever.

I mean, yeah. I mean, obviously, I mean, you know, not every, like last, I went to Minneapolis for the night yesterday. It was the only night I could see the Wax Hatchy MJ Linderman tour. So I just went and I stayed at the hotel that was closest to the theater. And let's let this, I wouldn't want to, I didn't want to be there. You know what I mean? I didn't, that hotel, that hotel, you know, is meant for just sleeping. Let's say there's no hanging out. There's no spa. But nowadays that's a rarity for you, right?

I mean, yeah. Where you're slumming it. Yeah, I don't, I mean. I mean, I don't slum it. And I know that you're a little more. See, you, you, I actually, if I'm a, are you more of a slumlord or less of a slumlord? I'm more of a slum. I don't, if I'm alone, I don't really care. That's right. You do kind of slum, don't you? Little ratty ass. If Alex is with me, it's different. Cause we gotta, you know, gotta have a nice row. We gotta pamper, gotta have a tub.

But if I'm, if I'm going to see my friends band, you know, if I'm going to Minneapolis for the night to see some friends and watch them play, I'm going to be in the hotel room. Just as what am I going to do? Why am I going to pay four seasons prices when I don't need it? It doesn't, it just doesn't. actually impractical i get it i get it why i stick a hand up a cow's ass when you can get the steak for free right chris but that's what i always say yeah exactly speaking of the it's from tommy boy i didn't get it just right um the tub is at the is the tub because right now in my relationship the tub is a nice perk but it's not a must-have at some point i think it will hit that is are you at must-have a tub like does it Is dinner ruined if the hotel doesn't have a tub?

No, no, no, no, no. It's not that bad, but there's a thing on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City where a character named Meredith, her husband, makes sure that she always has a bathtub in the hotel rooms, and several women know this reference. Oh. It's like a funny... So this fucking cuck ruined it for all of us, huh? Yes, he did. Exactly. Exactly what fucking happened. But I find it to be... I don't use bathtubs very often, but I like to have them because it means the bathroom has to be bigger.

Strictly, I just like it because I'm a size queen. I want the bathroom to be larger. It's probably going to be bigger, so there's that. I use it as my spent towel catch-all. Of course. That's the best use for it because a lot of bathrooms, they don't have a designated towel space. They just say put it on the floor. or whatever but then you got a bunch of towels on the floor it doesn't look tidy it's i mean it's real time hanging them from the shower door these are the tough issues we deal with the amount of nike dry fit clothing i've washed in a bathtub and let dry hanging over you know the one side have you thought about traveling with one of those travel like board short, swim trunk spinners.

You know what I'm talking about? I do know. I mean, I know them more as something that would be in like a Ritz-Carlton gym. Of course, of course. I'm talking about the one that free soloers and unhoused folks might be using. I'm not aware of that, but I'm interested. I think the mechanics of it are probably... quite in line shares a lot of dna with a common salad spinner i believe that's that's sort of what you do it's not a perfect it's the same shit yeah yeah yeah it's the same it's the same shit yeah just spin something around it's got some holes in it yeah get that moisture out do it got holes in it all right i'll take it yeah i've been i've been dreaming about that i've been dreaming about spinning and i've been dreaming about um those inflatable it replaces the iron for your shirt you put your shirt on top oh yeah yeah the shit's hard yeah those are cool i want one of the because like I get, you know, I get these nice vintage sweaters on eBay and I make sure to get it in like extra large, tall, you know, max it out as, you know, get the Ford F 450, whatever, dually, biggest one you can get.

And you never know if somebody has, you know, washed how they've cared for it. So I'm looking up things online. You soak it in the tub with some conditioner for three days. Yeah, that's a lot. It sounds like so much, and I want to just get that bitch wet, put a little Bumble and Bumble on there, drop it on the Muji iron, hit a button, and then just boom. It's shack size again, ready for me. Those things are really cool. I'm sure they're... cheap i'm sure you can grab like a muji one for under 200 bucks it feels like a qvc product in many ways to me but yeah but as soon as dyson comes out with one that's like 400 bucks and you can travel with it yeah if it doesn't if it doesn't take up if it doesn't take up too much room i think it's a reasonable

purchase that's why it's gonna be travel i went to the chiropractor at the airport in minneapolis my favorite thing i re-upped is that the same place that we went to yeah where i captured footage you get the same specialist it was a different specialist i liked his bedside manner more but he me up like so the shows these shows are all in theaters and so peyton katie's tour manager was like i got you a ticket for a seat too just in case you want to like sit with everybody else and i was like actually yeah that sounds great Bro, look, once that thing was touching hour 15, Big Daddy was dozing off a little bit.

I had to fucking, you know what I mean? I think my brain fog had lifted and it didn't bring me energy. It brought me sleepy. Okay. And so I had to really, I powered through. It was no big deal. But I really felt the effects much like last time when I was brain dead. Okay. So you were glad. I mean, I've been to a lot of shows where I was very grateful. for a seat you know a little cigar ross at the bowl or something you got your exactly you got your trout row and your fucking whatever spread out over there you want to i unfortunately didn't bring any of my my cheeses this time but it was you know i was thinking about you didn't have a chance i mean you you love that monger in saint paul okay so this the uh the wax that had the longer yeah who does your monger program at the four you so you didn't say it i mean the four seasons in in minneapolis bro that's our that's our hq how could you not anyway it honestly felt wrong without you there if i'm keeping it a buck you know if i'm keeping you want me back here we are if i'm keeping it a buck it would feel wrong i hate how you always know the exact the exact thing to say at the worst moment fucking type shit ass motherfucker okay So the With Child, Waxahachie, and MJ Lenderman show less of a stage-divey, high-energy, and it was a little more some tuned-down Americana, maybe seated acoustic.

They're on stage together the whole time, and then... Cole's playing keyboard. Colin's playing like pedal steel, dobro, guitar, banjo. They're all switching up. Very similar to a Sleaford Mod stage play so far. Exactly. Who's the laptop guy? There's no drummer. So it's like they just play constantly. They play a lot of songs because everybody's seated. So there's no time. Everybody's sitting. They're sitting. We're sitting. Everybody's happy. It's a, you know. But it did. Maybe next year we'll lay. I got a little too comfortable. You know what I mean? I got a little too comfortable.

Did you bring your little halo? To sit on? No, I didn't. Did you leave that at home? I thought you were talking about 2 Chainz's son who he podcasts with for a second. I'm like, I don't know him like that, but I would love to hang with him. My favorite podcaster. I know he's a Waxahachie fan, but I didn't even consider him. That's my new favorite podcast. That's some of the best clips out. So 2 Chainz has a podcast with his son and his son's name is Halo, named after the Beyonce song or the video game.

I'm going to say it could be really either one. Answer the fucking question. We got to track timeline. Otherwise, there's no way to be sure. I only thought of that reference because I just recently saw a video. because I was I was watching the Hulk Hogan documentary and I was the algorithm was feeding me like funny videos involving wrestling or boxing or UFC whatever and somebody was like the the one time this guy he wanted to have the halo 3 soundtrack play as his walkout music And he's like some tough boxer or whatever.

And they thought it was Beyonce Halo. So he's coming down the fucking ring. He's all fucking greased up and shit. And he's looking at it. He's like looking around. That's really cool. That's really cool. But Halo, if you haven't seen the clips, his son is very funny. He's like 10 and he just kind of like makes fun of 2 Chainz. And 2 Chainz likes it. And it's really good. It's as far as like elder hip hop podcasting. It's my favorite. favorite like i like cam and mace but i don't know enough about sports to care about that really you know what i mean right this is a little more this is more friendly for everyone it seems like it touches on like the good clean fun of like doing a podcast with a 10 year old but with you know touching on some adult themes it has yeah yeah he's talking about strip clubs and stuff like that with the 10 year old you know so instead of saying how the fuck you know about magic city on mondays he says

How in the heck do you know about Magic City? Your mama wouldn't like that now. Your mama wouldn't like that if she knew. Now, where in the world did you learn about Draco's, young man? I swear to God, I'm not going to let you go hoop this afternoon if you bring up Draco's one more time. Do you understand me? It sounds fun. Great podcast. It sounds fun. So what happens to a child when he gets a podcast that's bigger than ours at the age of 10? How does that change a 10-year-old's...

trajectory in 2026 i wonder i mean i think it's tough when your dad's already famous like two chains is strangely not not a household name that's being a little generous but two chains is like very well known as like a almost as like a figure you know he like looks a certain you know i don't know people know him he's we'll call him b plus list so i feel like i feel like that's your especially if you live in atlanta and that's your dad you're already royalty so it's like i think it i think maybe he really just wants to be a hooper like most kids that age they're like my dad sucks like whatever we live in a nice house but like you know i i just want a ball and i think that's what he's focused on mostly from what i from what i can tell and two chains is like you're you ungrateful little piece of i'm gonna give you all my smoothie king franchises and you're like dad i think smoothie king is lame why don't you own chrome hearts franchises exactly i think that is what is going on i think that is probably and halo is also very good looking so he's gonna have a he's gonna have his life is looking up Much better than ours.

Much like their podcast numbers. All right. Okay, clock it, Halo. Halo, Halo, Halo. All right, we have a guest today. Jason Williamson is one half of Sleaford Mods, a band that you guys are probably familiar with. He's also an actor. He's been in a few movies. He was in Peaky Blinders, a show that I feel like a lot of people I know watch, especially if they had that haircut. You remember the haircut. Yeah, 50% of the people I know. Yeah. Love that show. And other 50% have never seen a single episode.

It's very interesting. I thought you were going to say 50% of the people had that haircut. I was like, I'm going to say more. Definitely more. On this side? On this side? The side's high and tight. All right. Let's give Jason a call and get into it if we can understand his accent. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything.

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So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code how long with the TaskRabbit app or at com. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable. And they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing.

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It looks like. Jason, you got invited to a pool party in OC. Do you want to tell me? Because I've never been to a pool party in OC. So if you can tell me, because you sent me the flyer, and it says a lot, obviously. Visually, it's quite a lot. But if you could just read some of it out loud, I think that'd be a good exercise for us as a team. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, I mean, this is different. This party could be a fake AI-generated event. We don't know for sure, but the theme of this is Latinas versus Snow Bunny's pool party, and I don't know exactly how they are competing.

If they are just sort of in a, whoever is the most baddest baddie. I don't know if they're going to be doing pool related fights. So you're saying, so Latinas versus Snow Bunnies pool party. Why do you think that would be, what about this makes you think it could be AI created? I guess is my question. Because to me, this looks like something you might've done in InDesign back in the day. Okay, well, if you dig into the Instagram account. You'll see that some of the other events, okay, there's one of them.

The next one is homebodies versus groupies. It's two women. All the homebodies wear white. And then all the groupies wear black. And then the homebodies, there's a little sort of a comic book text bubble. And the homebody, the homebodies don't, to be clear, they are baddies, of course. But they're saying, I, S. want to go home. So I just want to go home. And then the groupies are saying we outside. So I don't know. It seems like the groupies are going to take this one. Hold on. You're right. The EBT accepted party is like...

Yeah, there isn't the EBT... 714 funks, which I guess is short for functions. And then EBT accepted party... It's so fucking crazy. And there's a special guest, Quandale Dingle. The white guy that says, I'll do anything for $20. This is crazy. This is actually a really cool page. Is this, I guess this is. Yeah, there's a Cinco de Mayo. There's a Diddy. versus charlie kirk no ice allowed cinco de mayo party no ice is allowed at all let's let's give prop store this guy this is this is oc underscore present on instagram they are verified which i would love to talk to somebody instagram about how that how that went down um but that's this is something that that It's cool to see where you come from.

You know what I mean? We see these movies about surfing and skating and the idyllic Orange County lifestyle and how beautiful it is and how everyone's got guns and stuff. But this, to me, feels like the most realistic representation of your hometown and where you're from. Yeah, I mean, we- I'm blown away, personally. We have some of the finest Latinas and snow bunnies in the world, Chris. I mean, probably, literally. And we don't take that lightly. That should be promoted more heavily, I would say, if anything else. Oh, yeah, I know.

Yeah, this is great. This is good stuff. I was saying, I was watching these, man, yeah, there's a video going around of Ronnie from Jersey Shore looking like- Jersey Shore. Absolute shit nodding out on TV. It's tough to watch those. That's one of the worst aging groups of people to ever be on television, I think, are that particular squadron. When I look at them, we're kind of like the same age as them, right? I think more or less. More or less? Maybe they're a couple years older is what I would guess.

Yeah, and they all have eight kids each and live in a really funny-looking house, but they look physically different. Yeah, physically different. I agree. It's a physical difference, and I don't know. They've lived more life than we have. Well, I think that being famous for being drunk really encourages you to be more drunk, which does take a toll on the body eventually. You know what I mean? It's going to catch up with you at some point. As an indie sleaze DJ, I can relate to that, Chris. Dude, I know you can, bro.

I know. Look, you're the indie sleaze king. It was encouraged. No one's going to take that away from you. Free Svedka before 11. So that's something. I know you got that tatted on you somewhere. Did you see this Erica Kirk outfit where she looks like she's in all black with the hat that says freedom on it? Yeah. the rhythm nation trade we are a part of a rhythm nation what did the um what did her hat say it looked like an equinox hat but it said like it said freedom i think black but black on black it's her whole look is is giving like that's like something george michael would wear to like yeah yeah la fitness it's it's january 6 security guard is kind of the vibe because it also you don't know you don't know what's under you know when you're wearing the all black kind of like sweatsuit.

But with her, you know it's not Lululemon. It's not tight. It's not even Under Armour. It's something even more sinister. But do you think, because I think maybe she could be packing under there. is what i mean like do you think she she has uh she's got something tucked into the not a dick not a dick i mean a gun no i mean yeah we're talking about the drake okay i think she could have i think she could have something around the waist not and not like a traveler's wallet that an old person uses when they go to italy i'm talking about a i'm talking about something that will make they'll talk you're not talking about the outlet dior you know for the shoulder bag she got something that she's gonna let it talk if you mouth off to her you know what i'm saying not the canal street mew mew no no that's real okay so i

I did see that. I want to know why she should have been wearing the Janet Jackson fit the day after her husband was murdered live on television. That feels like a fit that's giving in mourning. Yeah. And instead, a week after her husband was murdered, she's wearing Miss Thailand ball gowns. She was kissing JD on camera, bro. She had no respect for a dead man. So why did they switch that? Why is she wearing this right now of all times? This is a classic pivot to tactile dressing. you know what i mean like this is this is like oh you all thought you could make fun of me well now i'm going to show you i'm about my business and everybody in here could get it like i think that's i think she's trying to put off because she can't wear fatigues because that's like a little much you know what i'm saying that's like that's a little much but when she hops out the the when she hops out of the escalade with the all black on and the freedom hat with a full beat and you see a little bulge, you know what I'm saying?

You see a little something peeking out of the waistband, you know that she means business. Anything else would feel performative. This feels actually like the way she should. I would rather see her wear this than a fucking Timu gown or... Full, like, basic training fatigues. This is the nice middle ground for her. So we got little mama looking like Nas in 98, looking like Soulja Slim. It's very Soulja Slim, actually. Yeah, everyone's like, why the fuck this bitch dress like Chuck D from Public Enemy? You know what I mean? Hey, Chuck stood on business, and she's standing on business, too.

I see the similarities. It almost feels as if she's trying to play down her look. She's trying to cover her body. like um a burka or something like that you know what i mean it only looks like a little sliver of her of her skin She's so hot. She's so hot. She's so hot. It's a big distraction, actually. When she's talking about how her country is crumbling because of the libs, when the titties are out and the makeup is done, how can you, Jason, I know you can't focus. I know the message is lost on you.

So let's cover up. Let's be demure. And let's get that message across and be serious. It's time to be serious. This country's in peril. It's time to be serious is what I'm getting from this. You know the blowjob got teeth. all in it that's yeah yeah i do i i do think so we could ask jd he's coming on we'll get him on we'll get him on soon he can't get hard from a woman he's a chatty guy though he's a chatty guy do you want to do you want to talk about clipping i mean the clip world sure yeah i would like to do more i was with look i'm saying bro all that i read did you shod wrote an article for the guardian where he did a bunch of research and kind of really did the work for the clipping stuff.

Okay. Specifically as it relates to music. You know what I mean? More as it relates to music. So more geese than clavicular. Yeah, but it's like there's a lot. It's OK Lou. It's like a lot of, you know, it's McGee. It's like it's all this stuff. And OK Lou is a good example to me because I actually don't know what that sounds like. And I feel like no one does. Whereas like McGee. But I know what you mean. I mean, it's much smaller than Geese, but I like OK Lou. You would.

I would. You would. The performative player in me be listening. Sure. No shame in that. You got to appeal to the Elf and Ho's. I don't know. Don't sleep on me. It's a big delegate for me. Who's the number one Elf and Ho, Grimes? I mean, I guess Bjork is sort of mother of Elf and Ho's. Grimes is up there. I mean modern day. Bjork's the blueprint. Bjork's the Jay-Z. Bjork's the African Bambada. Talking about... Oh, God, dude. Yeah, I mean, Twigs has a pretty big stronghold on the fairy hose.

Fairy spelled A-I-E, of course. Of course, yeah, of course. I mean, I feel like it has to be music that is sort of electronic in nature. Because, yeah, I think that someone like Fiona Apple could maybe fall into this category, but because... Tori Amos, more of an unplugged fairy. Yeah, I think when it goes unplugged, it becomes something else. I think when you're banging at the piano, it's different than when you're banging on the synth a little bit. You know what I mean? what I mean just just vibe just vibe wise I'm saying but that's okay yeah when you're when you're banging on the like teenage engineering theremin that you built out of Legos oh this this is a custom piece actually you could distill it down to like

Fairy musicians who use traditional music versus non-binary instruments. Yeah, yeah. I think there are non-binary instruments. I think the piano is feminine, the guitar is masculine, and everything in between is up for grabs. And a lot of people think the harp is bi, but it is not. Oh, no. The harp is gay, actually. The harp is somehow gay. And if it's gay, then lock me up. Wait, I mean, harps. Yes. Put me in jail. I listen to Joanna Newsom 24 hours a day. So I think clipping is another instance of a kind of a who cares.

Like, I don't think that that is like, I guess I don't understand why we get so upset that people are good at playing the game that we've all agreed to participate in. That's what I'm always shocked, like the outrage by this of like. I guess what do you expect? What are you supposed to do when there's this much noise and there's this short of an attention span? I agree with all of that. I think what people are trying to figure out now is the clip turning into the content versus the clip being the thing advertising or getting you to go watch the TV show or the movie or the podcast.

I think it's been that way. Well, it has, but... Many people are saying that it is fully that way, but then the issue is if we make our money off of our podcast, but everyone just watches the clips only, then how is anybody making any money if the clips aren't translating into podcast views and you don't have ads on your clips, then you're just spending... a lot of money every month and getting a lot of views every month but yeah how is that translating into i mean that's fair i i just i don't know i i just feel like this is one of those things i mean i think it obviously music it's different because it's like you you know You're more drawn to listen.

I don't know. If you see something cool, you're going to go listen to it because there's no other way to hear a full song. You know what I mean? There's no 30-second clip of a song is all you want if you like it. You want to hear the whole song. Whereas with podcasting or whatever, video content, let's say, the 30-second joke you get on Reels might be all you want. That might not, like you're saying, that might not push you to go do the whole thing, whereas music is different. Yeah, I think I'm talking about everything but music.

Yeah, I mean, I agree. I mean, I don't know what, look, movie trailers existed forever. I've never wanted to see a movie after seeing the trailer. Trailer did everything I needed. Really? Dude, I don't, yeah, I don't, like, a trailer. Okay, so you're not new to this. You're true to this. Your body is conditioned for the clip economy. Well, I'm saying to you, I'm saying to you, a trailer is always. it always is a little bit of a lie and often only the best stuff. Do you know what I mean?

That's like what it is. And it's like, obviously the idea is to get you to spend $30, you know, to go sit in a cold room and watch it with people you don't know. And that has worked until whatever, five, 10 years ago. I think maybe the clips get you so familiar with someone and you like what they have to say that eventually you're gonna listen to something ambiently because you're doing that anyway. If that makes sense? Yeah. If you see enough Call Her Daddy and you like it, you think it's whatever, it appeals to you, the next time you're looking to put on something for three hours while you clean your house, you'll reach for your Call Her Daddy.

I mean, that makes sense to me. You'll reach for your daddy. You'll get a handful of those conversions. Well, I mean, it's interesting to see if the financial model will be reversed and then the hour-long podcast or... the hour long comedy special or whatever it is that you're getting the clips from, if that's just like a vanity project and then we just figure out how to put ads onto clips. I mean, I think for a lot of people though, there are ads on clips, like not like full on ad reads, you know what I mean?

But I'm saying like when you see a Theo Vaughn clip, there's a Celsius can in the clip. you know what i mean or if you see you know it's like those guys have the real heads have set up their studio and their whole game to have ads in it everywhere you look like you can't watch you can't watch a clip a second of the youtube a second of the tick tock without seeing an ad of some kind i mean not overt like you said it's not like an ad read for better help but it's like it's there i just don't like i just don't care like i i don't know like i'm happy that people are able to make money doing what they like and if if that means you know if like if mcgee's label spent

$50,000 to promote his music in ways that you think are nefarious, then like, okay, good. Don't listen to it. Like the clipification of it doesn't make something better or worse is what I, it's my kind of my point. Like if, if the, if the music is good, if the podcast is good, if the movie is good, then people will be drawn to see it. If it's not good, I think there's only so far a clip is going to take you. Yeah. Like, I don't like, like you're saying, not even just monetarily, but I even mean like culturally, I just don't know.

I just think they're, I mean, once every advertisement was made to look like a podcast, I feel like that's already chilled out. I would say like a year ago, six months ago, that's what everybody was doing and now you don't see that anymore in the same way, I don't think. It burned out a little too hot. I was listening, there was a podcast with a guy who does, he's like Scott Galloway's co-host on his other podcast and he was talking about for people who are like resistant or just like i don't i don't do that stuff like i just do my my podcast i do my show i do my comedy and i don't want to play the clip game he's saying or he's he's bullish on the fact that that is going to be the only game and if like if everything is clips then it's just going to be nick fuentes and clavicular and ruski and whatever like yeah if you don't get in there and put your hand in and and get dirty with everyone else you're you're just going to be left behind period but this is what people say about everything that's what they said about crypto that's what they said about nfts this is what they say about you know this is what there's always people that are telling you if you don't do something you're going to die and rot while everyone passes you by and gets filthy rich and moves to miami and has a girlfriend with fake tits like that is literally what this is and it's just sort of like dude i don't think it's really that serious i mean like sure but like Do you remember the, there was, I mean, you know, there was the pivot to video thing in whatever, you know, like 10 years ago, 15 years ago, when every major media company pivoted to video and it.

didn't really work. You know, it's like, I don't know. I think you have to do whatever feels right for you. And like, that's going to work for, I don't know. I just think that like this whole mentality of like, I have to put, put all my chips in every time there's a new thing or I'm going to be left behind. Yeah. Doesn't feel super healthy or normal or even like possible to keep up with. It's alarmist. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's what I'm saying. I don't want to be alarmed, but it'd be, but also everyone has that fear in the back of their mind because for every 100 of the, of those, you know, Ethereum bubbles.

There's like, I'm not going to get a car. I'm pretty sure that horse and carriage is going to be the one, you know, or like old technologies that have been, you know, decimated by, it's just some things inevitably die and are replaced by something else. And it might be interesting if clips are the only content that could turn an actual long form podcast or a comedy special or whatever. into something that has more value than it does now. Like if we're all just giving away these pods for free, suddenly that could be like an interesting coveted thing and people would buy longer form content, you know, like they're buying CDs at Best Buy for 20 bucks.

This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions, but how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do.

That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace.

Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative, but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school.

And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept quote unquote donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early, and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more.

Head to com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. that's a pipe dream but you know it'd be interesting yeah but it is kind of what happens it kind of it is kind of what happens to everything but i i don't know if like yeah i i don't i just think that that the like being upset about this it's like we got we got hassan piker reading a linen book wearing a cartier bracelet and we're worried about we're and we're worried about clipping you know what i mean it's just sort of like what i just don't like also I don't know.

If I see a clip I like, I just like the clip. I don't know. Do you think it's that serious? I guess from a business standpoint, sure. But as a purely entertainment consumer standpoint, what's the downside? Do you know what I mean? There's no downside for the consumer or the viewer or whatever. Well, I guess there's no downside in terms of it is an amazing quick hit of dopamine that never stops and it's hard to want to replace it. So, you know, it has a lot of similarities to like a Diet Coke or something like that where, you know, for now it sounds like a miracle drug and we don't need anything else.

But, you know, in 10 years from now, we don't know what that will do to the world and just human beings in general. If our attention span really is that destroyed, we will reach, you know. brain in a jar in a wheelchair, idiocracy lifestyle kind of black mirror shit. I'm sprinting there already, so try to stop me. I mean, no, I thought about this actually because yesterday when my flight to Minneapolis was delayed for three hours, it was like I'd gotten there early so I could write my GQ column and get that done before I got on the plane and I had answered my email and I was like, all right, I've kind of done the immediate things I need to do and now I'm going to sit here and there's plenty of stuff I should be doing.

but this diva is going to clip, but I know the reels are there. I know the clips are, are, I know it's time to see fucking, you know, Coco Schiffer advertising for the new goop kitchen. You know what I'm saying? Like, I know that I need this and I'm just like, and, but in those situations, it's like, it really is kind of wild how like you can't, it's literally a bag of chips. Like you cannot have just one. Yeah. There's no one on earth. Yeah. I guess for, for your personality, where you, for those of us and we all, if you're not, If you don't know somebody in your life who can't just have one, then you are that person.

How does that feel for you? Does it trigger any potato chip memories or whatever? Because I'm able to sort of put it down, but I obviously get lost in the sauce sometimes. A good bag of chips is a good bag of chips. In a movie theater popcorn, I ain't stopping, but I can pull back. But for you, we're, you know. You open that bag of Pirate's Bootie. Oh, dude, not the Pirate's Bootie. Don't bring up Pirate's Bootie. When you open up the Bootie, it's filet mignon. I do be eating the Bootie in that sense.

It's real. It's real. It's really real. Okay. Ian, we got clean audio on that one. Got it. Okay. I think that's a wrap for you, Chris. We got everything. Pirate's Bootie took the cheeks. Yeah. So do you feel yourself going back to Fat Boy Chris with the soft batch cookies? put a whole sleeve down i mean it's different it's different but it's not different you know what i'm saying i think i think it is affecting the same sort of brain activity You know what I mean? It's giving yourself what you want when you know you've had enough.

You know what I'm saying? Because it's like, yeah, if you order a large pizza and you, I'm only going to eat half of it and it's sitting there, you're going to have another slice. Sure. Like, it's just what it is. It's the same thing. You bought the ticket, we're taking the run. If these delicious reels are just sitting there, I'm putting some fucking salt and pepper and a little ketchup on them. I'm chowing down. I can't be, you know. However much pow pow goes in the spoon is however much pow pow is going down.

Exactly. Give me my chili oil. I'm about to drizzle this shit and get to chomping. You can't put the fentanyl. back in the tube. Just ask Ronnie. You really can't. You really cannot. But I want to know when this ends. I was looking on Instagram and there was a branch had a commercial or a teaser or a trailer or a clip for an upcoming deodorant commercial. Okay, so you're saying a brand. So if that's happening, what next? Are people going to be like, this 90-second reel is too long? Just show me the clip of it.

Dude, this is what I've been complaining about for years. We have to announce that tickets are going on sale a week before the tickets go on sale. I have these discussions with my partners at Hanover, too. It's like, well, we don't have to tease anything. We post it when there's a link to buy it. I don't need to tease a zip-up sweatshirt. It's much easier if we just post it with the link when it's ready. I just don't know if... Cool people don't tease, and then data-driven people got to tease.

I think the teasing thing, there's clearly data to back up that that works in some regard, or it wouldn't have taken over the way that we operate. There's data to do a lot of nerdy things that is beneficial, but still. I'm just like, well, what if we provide a link to click and buy it? Isn't that when we should be talking about it? And it's like... of course how can you argue with me like that of course that's right but like both things are probably right depending on how you split the data you know what i mean a brand teasing their own commercial is feels like somebody just wants to slot in some content because there was nothing there that day

which is like fine you know what i mean it's it's fine but i don't think that's actually i guess what i'm saying is if you look at it as another thing to post that's fine but if you think it's going to convert that is the question that's the question i have yeah we got the teaser of the clip of the music video dropping next year you know like that yeah yeah i mean people are mad at lee rodrigo because her tour she announced a tour that's not until next year today or yesterday and it's like the album's not out the tour is a year from now like a literally like i don't know i just don't know if people really i guess that's just the way things are set up now and people are used to doing it that way like as far as like planning ahead and buying the tickets doing the whole thing i guess people are just fine with it yeah it's it's very kind of disney adult um you know i guess people who are olivia rodrigo fans obviously she's you know she's cool and cool people like her music but i think you know the core fan base of 13 year olds or whatever you know or the the Disney adults that have 13-year-old sensibilities, they really want to have that thing on their calendar that they have something to look forward to and live for my question is it's for people who don't have a whole lot going on in their life you know i mean if i guess if i guess what i'm saying is it from what i understand that the people of that age like their tastes change so fast i feel like literally you could be like i'm off this like by like your parents spend 300 to get you two tickets or four tickets so 600 whatever to take you and your friend to the show mom we hate somber now get out of my room and then by the time somber comes to town they're like mom have you heard this is Lorelai somber sucks you know what I mean and it's like whatever listen to help mom you fucking retard yeah that's literally what yeah it's like Olivia Rodrigo mom pavements are super cool so I don't know how I don't I really don't know but I mean I think all that stuff's just set up that way and that's how it's gonna work but I think you're right I mean I like to have stuff on the calendar too though I'm not like I like to have something I like to have something to look forward to as well whatever that may be whatever that may be but not a year in advance not a year that like a year is like literally a wedding I don't know what else

you need to plan a year in advance. I mean, save the dates for weddings are six months? I don't know. I mean, if it's like a really big one and a destination one, then yeah, a year. But otherwise, I mean, getting a year in advance for the save the date, so much of your own life can change, you know? Dude, real talk, bro. I mean... What if the venue stops doing like Spanish-style tapas and switches to something else and like... You know? Wait, hold on. You're saying there's no ceviche available at all?

Yeah, what if somebody fucking one shots their ceviche program and then like the printer is like probably already halfway done. Actually, speaking of food, I was getting a haircut yesterday. Shout out to. Hell yeah, bro. Hell yeah. Shout out to the familia. Get your little shit hooked up, bro. Get your little shit hooked up. I'm looking good. My hair is growing so fast lately. I want to check my Venmo history to see. if like one year ago today if i was getting haircuts less frequently because i feel like i'm getting every like three weeks now i'm surprised those guys take venmo that's cool they got the fucking the qr my barber cash only baby east village barber they say ninth street barbers say we cash only i mean they they would prefer cash of course yeah definitely definitely i don't i ain't always got it on me but i went and got a coffee after at this place called loop and um it's it's like a fancy kind of highfalutin like barista oh you don't say it's called loop and it's baristas you know there's dark woods and you know they're wearing selvage aprons that are fully custom you know all it was it's you're expecting you know some high level stuff and i got a cortado and i don't remember with i tipped him a dollar it was probably like six or seven bucks or something like that and i saw her making uh making the shot pulling the shot and then she was she was like is whole milk okay i'm like yeah whole milk's good pulls out the Kirkland Costco gallon milk.

Oh, hell no. And I was like, wow, I thought you guys would be using better milk for how much you charge for your Cortado. Is this one of those low key, like actually the Kirkland brand is fire? That's what I wanted. That's what I was sort of fishing for. And when I said, I'm surprised you guys are using fucking Costco milk for the $7 coffee or whatever. And she was like, oh, I thought we really have competitive prices compared to other places. And I was like, yeah, but those places are using like good milk, not like Costco milk.

And she was just like, I don't know. And then that was it. But I was hoping that she was going to say like low key, like the Costco vodka, like rates higher than Belvedere. I was hoping for even more than that. I was hoping for like. Oh, we get this from our own farm. Like the way that... Oh, like we just used the leftover jugs, but this is like raw milk that we got from Encinitas. Yeah, like we get this. Yeah, that feels kind of crazy to me. This is from Zach Galifianakis.

Did you watch any of that? I haven't watched it yet. I'm not going to. No, going back to the theme of our conversation, Carolyn and I watched the trailer or the clip of it. And we were like, this trailer and this clip, whatever, 90 seconds of Zach Galifianakis being himself in a garden with kids and adults and whatever. It was very good. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. He's still so funny. He's a cute guy. He's just a random silly guy. Just a comedic great. And then when it's time to click play on the show, we were both like, I'm good.

I don't need to watch that. All the good moments happened on this trailer. You can just smell a trailer. You can smell it on a trailer when this is the best we got. You know what I mean? I get a lot of clips for Between Two Ferns still, and it's pretty amazing how well it holds up. It's gold, brother. How well it holds up. What happens on the show? He's just gardening with children? I think he just says like... i don't know anything about gardening i'm like so stupid but like i developed this like hydroponic system for the you know i think it's just like watch me sort of fumble through you know the world of gardening i learned a few things and i'll pass them on to you and you know i think he really believes in you know spreading awareness about deforestation and blah blah blah apparently the world has 64 more cycles of of like plant life before

The bitch is tapped out. Sounds like, oh, that's fine. I'll be dead before then anyway. So it doesn't really stress me out, you know. That doesn't really bother me too much. That doesn't really bother me too much. I don't know. I don't know how long each cycle is. Oh, that's okay. If the cycles are a week, then I could be here. And my vegetables could be tainted. So I do think that does. I'm sorry. I spoke too soon. I should have gotten all the data before speaking out. Because there's so many cycles out right now.

Yeah, there's so many cycles. I can't even keep up. When do you leave? Tomorrow? Yeah, I leave tomorrow off to Gay Paris and then London. We're taking the train from Paris to London. First time. Yeah, bro. You got to take the Eurostar. It's the best, man. That's what everyone says. It's the best. Great logo. It's the best. Great logo on the coffee cup. Just something to think about. Nothing, nothing. I know you're a design, you know, I know that you're a design forward. It'd be psycho if that coffee cup hit my stories later in a week's time.

Don't tease me like that, okay? Don't tease me with a little story. And then off to New York, DJing a wedding on next Saturday. Oh yeah, I know. I'll be here. Are you going to be at the wedding? No, no, no. I'm not going to be at the wedding. But you're going to be in New York. Oh, yeah, baby. I'm here. What are we going to do? I don't know. I think we're going to try to go to Borgo, I think. But Alex is leaving. I'm trying to figure it out.

But that's on a Monday, right? I guess. There's some sort of discussion that's going on behind our backs. Not nefarious, just like there's a discussion going on that I don't think we're involved in until it's time for me to email somebody to get a table somewhere. We're okay with that, right? Totally. Preferred, actually. I'm good with whatever, as I famously say all the time as an easygoing guy. You know me. I'm cool. I'm chilling. Easygoing until anything happens. Hold on. Something happened and Chris just lost it. I've gotten calmer. I've gotten calmer in my old age.

Don't put that on my jacket. You have. As far as I know. I don't know what you're hiding. I don't get into as many public altercations that I used to. I really don't. Yeah, that's true. And even when like something goes, I don't know, like today the flight attendant like kind of gave me attitude for the way I was sitting. And I didn't like the cut of her jib anyway because she was fucking talking too much. You know, it was like one of those flights, it was like a flight back from Minneapolis and there's like a group of women who are going on a trip to New York.

They're all wearing I Love New York shirts. They're probably in their 60s. And everybody's just talking. And they're talking to this fucking fried flight attendant. I got to put on my noise canceling. I got to put on the fucking white noise so I can read my book. And, you know, then she like, scolds me for having my foot peeking out into the aisle a little bit. Eight years ago, I would have literally gone off. You know what? I just looked at her, didn't take my headphones off, didn't acknowledge her at all, and looked back down at my book, and she went away.

That's how it's got to be handled. I can't cause a scene. It's bad. I'm glad that I've... I think the Wilco Festival thing, I was embarrassed by that. I shouldn't have reacted that way, even though I was sort of, my hand was forced. I still feel some shame. Well, it's nice to know that you still, because you don't want to be fully docile. You still need to have that fight in you. In that situation, it was also like a big guy feeling threatening. This was a flight attendant who was just trying to do her job, but I found it annoying.

You know what I mean? It wasn't like she actually did something wrong. It was just sort of like, I know that you're going to be walking down the aisle. I'm very clear on how the plane works. You just shoot her a look that says, really, bitch, and then right back to your little Lena Dunham. book. I'm reading a Jeanette McCurdy book and she's like, oh, huh. This gay guy gave me attitude on the plane today, sweetheart. Can you believe that? Would have thought you would have been an ally with that literature.

Yeah, with that literature. Why don't you take the dust jacket off that next time, big bro, if you want to give me attitude. Keep him guessing a little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah, I just finished the Dunham book yesterday. She hired this girl, Dolly Meckler, to do like... the the rollout i guess and it was all it was all very sub stack uh forward and she's lena said to someone and she didn't reveal her source but that basically a sub stack yeah subscriber or reader is like x amount more valuable than a twitter instagram follower as far as like actually purchasing books goes which which makes a lot of sense but i mean she came in number one dude number one like 60,000 books in a week or something, I think, which is pretty unbelievable.

Go, girl. Because like I was saying to you guys earlier, it's like she's really famous to like our generation, but I bet my mom doesn't know who she is. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like 50-50, our parents are familiar. Yeah, like I feel like for us, she feels like somebody who's been a part of our lives since we can remember almost because like... She's like V. Woke, basically. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Less clips. All right. How Long Gone. Thank you guys for listening. Less clips. How Long Gone.

Thank you guys for listening. We appreciate it. We'll be back next week. We're doing a little classic How Long Gone Met Gala wrap up with our friend Lynette next week. And then we'll be doing a little one-on-one while Jason's in Europe, which is, once again, we prefer to beat the beast when we can. Thank you for listening. We'll talk to each other. Au revoir. The right window treatments change everything. Your sleep, your privacy, the way every room looks and feels. At com, we've spent 30 years making it surprisingly simple to get exactly what your home needs.

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